so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
