at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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