I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
