worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
This couple is walking their pig around campus
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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