Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
