its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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