Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
