he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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