i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize