My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
