Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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