sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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