I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
