he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
