Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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