Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
