Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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