i just had sex bonerless
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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