it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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