Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
