it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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