after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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