You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
