I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
