Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
