At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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