If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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