Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.

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(818): View more from California

i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.

(615): View more from Tennessee

Heaven soaked bacon.

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(703): View more from Virginia

just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.

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(709): View more from Newfndlnd, Labradr

By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.

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(770): View more from Georgia

I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.

(1-770): View more from Georgia

You're a good friend.

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(813): View more from Florida

I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle

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(845): View more from New York

Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?

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