remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
