It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize