It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I need water and some morals
Randomize
