I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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