so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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