Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize