I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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