Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
