I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize