I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
