On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
