I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
