Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
there is puke in my bra ... again
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
