he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
