is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize