why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
