sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
