do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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