Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
