I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
There are leaves in my underwear?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
