living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
