2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
kristin has been a bad kristin
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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