I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
