I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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