What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
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