how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
