I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
