"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Randomize
