i think i have two assholes
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize